Hi today I'm going to talk about reality. Reality is the harsh truth to majority of the human population. Ok firstly let me get this straight. This year I told myself to tell myself that I'm "a lot more fortunate than you (I) think you are (I am)". Why? Because yes, I am.
So here I am today right now at 11.02p sharing with you a slice ("piece" is overrated) of my mind.
The reality that I currently see is that if you have money, you win. It's seen almost everywhere anyway. When we play Monopoly or The Game of Life, the winner is the player with the most money at the end of the game. All the time. If you're gonna compare material belongings obviously the people with money will have the greatest purchasing power hence highest valued goods. Or let's see, if one were loaded with money, one would be able to afford top-notch tutors and/or trainers for academics/instruments/sports. Hence excelling greatly there in that area (of course when it comes to skills mentioned here, practice would always come hand in hand with the help [if you don't help yourself no one can help you] but the advantage would already be obvious). How this reality struck me again was actually because of the recent posting of schools and what I see around me. So what I see is that people with money are able to screw the O levels man. Just heck with it. Y'know I say I study but actually nah I'm just having a social gathering with my friends. Or y'know I'll just casually not make studying a priority because I don't have to work hard. Because when I don't do as well as I hope and I don't get posted to a branded school I'll just pay money and get a place in one. Or I'll just go to an international school. Or I'll just go overseas. Cos money is overrated.
K I honestly have nothing against people who do this. In fact I have friends doing exactly all of the above. And I respect that decision. But what I'm looking at is more of what majority of people do and how everything turns out and then I'm asking myself if it was worth it. It's not fair and I'm gone pass that phase of accepting that. But I'm just stuck at the "damn was everything worth it" part now.
Sorry if I unintentionally offended anyone. My ranting goes overboard almost all the time. And anyway, I am never able to get my train of though directly through the tunnel anyway. Increasing offending rants when I feel very conflicted. Like today.
Today was a very very very very very long day. It dragged on almost endlessly. Attended a band ensemble competition. To be dead honest, I went in with my non-competitive mode (what's new). Yes I went into a competition without trying to pose as competition. Why I did that was because I was told to just go for fun and not be bothered about the results. Go there and learn and grow and blah blah blah (new vocabulary learnt today). But by the end of the competition, when we didn't win, we got told off. Ok confusion number 1. Mildly affected only. I was told that I "better improve your (my) tone". Sorry I never got the mura I was promised. And aiya to be honest sorry lah you're no longer my priority
Don't care if I'm using a Mura Altus Burkart Yamaha I d c. Cbf. Idc. Idk. Idgi. What other acronyms do you want.
Ok I shall indirectly introduce confusion number 2. So I tried to imagine what I would do if I were in your situation and no I would not have done what you did and yes I would actually know what it's like but no I still would not have done what you did. Why? Because I am sensitive and not ignorant and I care about how others would feel ah maybe that ah. Aiya but sama sama lah not my life I can't control your actions I can only react to them so cbfidkidcidgi.
I impulsively snipped off a lot of my new hair. So I look like a boy again but I am not upset why? I also don't know. Blank state of mind right now filled with negativity and angst so I shall regret this tomorrow.
Only irritated/conflicted/tired chow needs to get sleep because I rise before the sun tomorrow morning. Good night.
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